Hello! Dear fellow Indians,
We are a group of brave, intrepid citizens of India who have taken upon ourselves to oversee that you do not become lazy or complacent. We are here to make sure you get your daily dose of adventure as you commute to your work.
We know that a lot of you do not work out to keep healthy. We also know that almost all of you cannot afford or have no time to indulge in extreme sports like paragliding, bungee jumping, or skydiving. We realise that having a bit of excitement and a feeling of edge-of-the-seat euphoria is necessary to keep the heart pumping. That also keeps you young and energetic as you go about your day. It also keeps your reflexes up to the mark.
We are the auto-rickshaw drivers. We are a class of our own. Long long back we used to have rickshaws that we used to manually pull or cycle around. But now that we have “Auto” rickshaws that run on petrol or LPG, we have become super heroes of the roads!
No one can stop us. Not you on your humble two-wheeler, or you in your serviceable Hyundai or Maruti or even you in your swanky Mercedes or BMW.
We care two hoots for your safety, or even our own, but we are brave as we told you earlier. We will cut in front of you to take a left, just as you are about to take a right turn. We will do that in the last possible moment to make sure you are caught off guard. That will ensure your reflexes are up to the speed.
We have to avoid that pothole at any cost. But we can’t slow down to let you pass before we do. So we will swerve right in front of you and win that small victory from you. Ha!
If you hire us to take you over to your destination, then let’s start the time of your life!
Of course, it can happen that we don’t want to go where you want to. So we will refuse outright and then zoom off.
But, in case you agree to go where we want to go, then buckle up!
Even though you may not be in a hurry to get there, we are! So we will dodge in and out of the traffic, get in into the tiniest of spaces between the big bus and the van and zoom off before anyone can even breathe. You will get your workout with us, with all the tossing and turning as we maneuver through the crowd.
The red light is of not much importance to us. We care not, nor should you. They are there for others to follow! We will honk our horns to blast the ears off an elephant if necessary. WE NEED WAY! We will get it no matter what!!
We would like it if you will be silent in the auto. So if you feel like screaming in excitement (or fear), just close your eyes or stuff your hanky into your mouth and enjoy the ride!
Some of us are music lovers. So we fit our autorickshaws with music systems and play songs of our choice loudly. If you or anyone else in the traffic don’t like it, then tough luck. No one asked you your opinion!
We also undertake to give your vocal chords some exercise. When you finish your ride and you pay us, some of us will take it upon ourselves to pick a fight with you for more fare. We will raise the pitch of our voice with every passing second and you will need to out-shout us to make yourself heard. 90% of the time we will win the argument because you are in a hurry to leave.
Of course, there are a very few percentage of us, who actually listen to you and care for your needs. They are gentle with elderly and some even offer free rides to women in labour. They are few and far between.
So even if you ride with us or not, we, the auto-rickshaw drivers make you alert and rearing to go. You get your daily dose of living dangerously from us. You will need that to achieve great things in life.
We humbly accept your thanks and pledge to continue the good work for a long time
Auto Rajas and Auto Ranis of the country