Technically, I should be feeling something different. Nothing seems different. I am the same me I was yesterday. Should I be feeling different?
As I step into my 5th decade of life, I look back to see if I have learnt anything at all! 🙂
Adages are not helping me at all. Look at the popular ones:
50s is the new 40s
40s is the new 30s
30s is the new 20s
So, basically every new decade I step into, I am supposed to be living the previous decade. That way I will never catch up to the present decade, can I? Everyone seems to believe that the age I am in (at any point of time) is the wrong age to be in. The best times are always done and dusted, and I am still hoping to cash in the benefits of the age gone by.
All these sayings seem to point to the fact that humans dread to age. They want to remain as young as possible. It seems to me that the best age to be is the 20s. With all schooling done and the freedom of cash in hand, courtesy the new found job and coupled with no restrictions; the 20s is considered the golden age of existence.
Anyway, I am now supposed to live in the 4th decade according to all the world.
But, as I step into this new decade as on 20th October, I want to take back all the old beliefs and take a step forward right into the new age and not live in the decade gone by.
Here are a few home-truths that I have learnt and mean to implement (successfully, I hope) into my new decade.
- Age is not just a number: Yes, I know, the saying is other way around. But, I feel, now I can flaunt my age in people’s faces and say that I am elder to you in experience and demand a few extra points on making them listen to me! 😉
- Kids: Now is the time when most of my responsibilities are done. My kids are grown and are young adults capable of taking care of themselves and I need not be the monitor/teacher/doctor/cook/care taker and a million other things 24/7 and can easily take a step back. Not that I am not involved in their life, I am, trust me, but the constant presence is not required.
- Time for myself: This leaves me with time on my hands. I plan to utilise it by spending it on my other interests.
- Detachment: Over the years, I have found that there is more happiness to be found in detachment than attachment. When we cling on to things/relationships/people or even partners, I have experienced that it gives more pain than pleasure. When we get attached to anyone or anything, we tend to expect them to be incharge of giving us joy and content. But it is not so. Joy is not found outside. I hope to search for my inner joy.
- Perks: I can now ask that young man for the lower berth in exchange of my upper berth, even though I can very well climb up! 😉 My kids now hold my hand to help me across a puddle. This makes me feel both old and privileged at the same time. I love the caring thought behind that gesture.
- Letting go: I have now finally decided not to be offended when I am called an “auntie” by even 40-something youngsters. I suppose in their eyes, I think I look like a decrepit, tottering old lady. I shall forgive them and move on! 😀 Check out my old post here on how I felt about this earlier.
- Being a watcher: I hope to practice being a watcher now. I realise that I need to let my kids find their own way in the world. Even though I want to remove all obstacles in their paths to help them achieve their dreams, I realise I cannot do that. They have to make their mistakes, learn from them and move on. I can only be the support that they need me to be.
- Acceptance: After nearly 3 decades, I have finally learnt to accept myself as I am. I have always felt that I was a few kilograms more than what I should be. I used to feel that people around me judged me for that. This feeling has ruled over my head for decades. I could never look at a mirror and feel good about myself. But I have learnt that as long as my health is good, I shall embrace my curves and be proud of who I am.
Along with my few grey hairs, my reading glasses, my slightly aging skin, and some new aches and pains. my new tagline shall be:
50s is the new me!